The Very Brief Underwear Moment
Apparently the thought of appearing on a hospital trolley with dirty undies was of deep concern to Mothers of the world. My own more simpler male thought was that if I was hit by a bus, it would hardly matter a great deal. More to the point had I seen the bus coming, I have no doubt that through no fault of my own, there could well be other reasons for me having dirty underwear.
It was however a concern that she had with her all her life and one that always made me smile. I therefore decided to investigate and speak a little more openly about the fascinating subject of men's underwear.
The Y Front Gap
Now I have never been able to figure out one thing so perhaps someone can help me out here. Manufacturers have been making Y-fronts for years and I get the whole "Y" thing.
What I don't get is the way they have cut the gap out, and then covered it up. The purpose is I am assuming to allow you to open these Y-fronts up and by a process of wiggling and jiggling pop Percy out to do a wee.
Let me tell you something men are simple souls and we also like to be able to do what needs to be done and then get on with the next thing. We don't like all that fiddling around and trying to find stitched hems.
Then you have to pull one side back and find the hidden inner hem. Then when you manage to do that, you have to pull that back. In so doing you then have to somehow manage to get Percy out through this gap and into the land of freedom.
The bottom line is (pardon the pun) I know of no man who actually does that. It is so much easier just to yank them down by the waistband at the front and have a widdle that way.
The Male Underwear That Works
I went on a journey of discovery to try and find non complicated underwear that does the job without the complications. In particular I wanted to find "ease of access" Y-fronts that still have that shape but actually allow you inside them without having to have nimble fingers and three hands.
Apparently the technical name for this complicated entry is called a "fly pouch." Who the heck came up with that for a name!
Hanes Men's Classics 7 Pack Comfort Soft Waistband Sport Brief Assorted ColorsY Fronts without the complicated flaps and folds. Al last some manufacturer has listened to the needs of the male race
Jockey Men's Underwear Seamless Waistband Brief - 2 packThese look good and just work. No complicated design No strange fold over hide away seams hat cause havoc
And On The Second Day They Created Boxers
Why Are Boxers Called Boxers?
I remember all to well when these made their first appearance. Shorts we called them back in the day. But no, the brand marketers had decided these would be named boxers. Personally I thought that was a breed of dog, but what do I know.
The brand guys probably had the cool idea that boxers = boxer = macho man.
It meant that for the first time the bits could breathe freely and males would experience the joy of this freedom.
What they didn't do was work out how you could wear these and stop your suit trousers looking like something that had been stuffed with a plastic bag. They also didn't tell us that you had to straighten them by somehow getting your hand down the fly of your trousers, finding the bottom of them at each leg, and pulling them hard to stop layers of cloth, from attempting to take over your crevices.
You ladies may well laugh and even say it is a man's world but let me tell you loose boxers and tight trousers can be a real pain.
I haven't even started on the seams yet. For some reason the manufacturers do not want these to fall down. It seems it is also ok in macho man world to achieve this by using an elasticated waistband that has been tensioned by an elephant
ExOfficio Men's Give-N-Go Boxer Brief,White,SmallOK, now you try and wear these with normal trousers and see what they look like. They are fine with jeans but that's about it.
Champion Men's Tech Performance Boxer BriefWhat's this one all about? Sure it fits your legs ok, but how the heck do you get Percy out?
Calvin Klein Men's Micro Modal TrunkAnd if you like having Calvin Klein spelled backwards on your navel then get a pair of these. For the record it reads like this: nielK nivlaC
Your Opinion Ladies Please
What type Of Underwear Do You Like For Men?
And On The Third Day The Designers Thought We Should Look Like Women
I would dearly love to meet the person who invented these and just ask them what were they actually thinking? We are men and we are simple. Please stop trying to complicate our lives as we really don't like that one little bit.
Ladies are in my opinion beautifully designed. They just always look good. Now apart from those "large pants" most ladies underwear looks fantastic. When I talk about large pants by the way I mean those stretch things that start somewhere around your knees and can be hiked all the way up to your neck.
Sorry I digressed. Men however were never supposed to wear these. In my opinion it is better to go bare back than to don a pair of these things.
And On The Fourth Day We Had Boxerjocks
I would love to be a fly on the wall at some of these underwear meetings when they come up with the names.
Do they have a giant wall board where they write up their ideas? Do they then work their way through them to come up with a name like Boxerjocks?
Or do they design them first and then try to fit a name around them?
The Origin of Jock Straps
Apparently this name appeared around 1888 and was designed to support the male genitalia. It was designed for men such as messengers and delivery boys or as they were called back then "bike jockeys." You learn something everyday I guess. Believe it or not they have even invented electric jock straps but I am not going there.
Jockey in this context means rider and these straps were made to prevent squashing damage to Percy and his two mates.
According to Wikipedia "Jock was used as a slang for "Percy" from around 1650-1850
One For The Chaps
What Underwear Do You Find Comfortable
On The Fifth Day They Invented Silk Boxers
Yes I was bought a pair of these.
Major problem though.
The material kept me constantly "excited." I actually don't know if that is a good or bad thing?
On the Sixth Day They Created Ugly Underwear
Just what are these all about I ask you?
It is like they forgot to finish these off. They even class them as moderate coverage. What the heck is that all about?
These would look ugly on anyone. It looks more like a badly made diaper than a set of underwear
And On The Seventh Day They Stopped And Took A Rest
Well I think I have covered off men's underwear as best that I can. That was until I found some that didn't fit into any of the above. To be complete I thought I should add these in.